Time ticks by

I have lots of time in my day - hours even! So why is it, that when I sit down to do something (like my readings for school), I can't find 5 minutes to put any effort into it? It is Friday today, and all week I have been meaning to get to studying, reading, posting on our class discussion board, and I haven't put a single iota of effort into it, even once. My courses are interesting, I don't particularly object to the subject I'm studying, but sitting down to read and study has been feeling impossible. As if my books and I were each magnets of the same polarity, refusing to sit next to one another and get anything accomplished. When things are due the next day (or at midnight!) you can find uber-focused me, diligently completing my assignments all at once - and my average is fine!! But trying to do things more sanely, preparing ahead of time and all of that organized nonsense, I can't even seem to devote a simple hour during my day.

The most frustrating part is that it isn't as though I have more pressing things to do - I sit down at the computer, and then surf mindlessly for hours, when just ONE of those hours would have made my school life more manageable if I had done some reading. I sit down at the table with my books, open them up to a good starting place, open my notebook, set out my pen/highlighter, and when I'm all set - I go do the dishes, or clean the bathroom, or make the bed - and I hate housework!!!!

What is this fight? This resistance? Why will I not just sit down and get it done? And since we're into the whys - WHY can't I seem to SLEEP anymore? I slept for 8 1/2 hours last night, and instead I woke in the morning feeling like I had just gotten to bed, and surely it was only 2am, and not 20 after 6... Alas, it was 20 after 6, and time to get up and start the day. I looked in the mirror, and almost shut the lights off and went back to bed after seeing the size of the bags under my eyes - unbelievable; especially after going to sleep at 10pm last night. Methinks that perhaps the cat needs to be barred from the bedroom, if only even temporarily; I remember waking up several times to her adjusting her position as she perched daintily on top of me during the night. She will strongly object to her exile, but I think it's necessary - one thing to try anyway, see if I sleep any better...

So this morning I am tired, a bit grumpy, and frustrated. My eyes are burning while I look at the screen, and my mind is sluggish. Maybe once I've had a cup of coffee and started my work day I will have a different outlook on the day. I aim to, anyway...